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Stargazing
On the fourth day after Irene struck, we got our power back. It was a moment of celebration and relief mixed in with survivor’s guilt. We finally had access to the news and were able to see the images of the devastation Irene had inflicted. I couldn’t get them out of my head. As the surge of excitement subsided, I realized how tired I was. Yet, things had to be taken care of. The refrigerator needed to be purged and scrubbed. The house needed to be vacuumed and the laundry sorted. I made a pot of Earl Grey tea and sat on my favorite chair on the deck to enjoy it.…
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Perspectives
“It’s peaceful,” my fifteen-year-old daughter said, “Almost, too peaceful!” she added. We had just come from a four-mile walk on the beach. We were sitting on the porch facing the Atlantic. I was reflecting on our walk, feeling grateful for the expansion of the beach and sky in front of us. As I listened to her I was reminded . . . she’s at the stage of her life where the more the better. I have entered the period in my life where less is more and peace and simplicity are what I crave the most. Two women, two generations, two different takes on life. I wondered whether she’s bored with…
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You Can Say No to Self-Blame
The other day, I had a first hand experience of how self-blame is a choice we can live without. I’m pretty sure that, the “multi-taskers” among you, will understand what I mean. Here it goes. The Middle School spring concert day was upon us and the girls were going to perform for last time as middle schoolers. Having been there before, I anticipated a certain level of stress for that afternoon. Regardless, I allowed myself to get distracted throughout the day. As a result, I found myself scrambling to get things done while trying to be, emotionally and physically, available to the girls. It wasn’t long before I became breathless. I…
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It’s a New Beginning!
We’re well into April. For those of us in the North East, the cold still lingers but the daffodils are blooming and the days are getting longer. The skies are blue and sunny, more often than not. It’s taking me longer to get going this year. My motivation feels sluggish . . . it’s been a dark, cold winter. My attention has been pulled in a myriad of directions and I can’t say I enjoyed them all. Some distractions can be more painful than others. It’s not always easy to jump start the engine and gain momentum after a long winter. Many of us develop our rituals for moving through the…
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Life Behind the Wheel
Earlier this morning, I was on my way to meditation. There was traffic but nothing crazy. Suddenly, a recycling truck cut in front of me. I stepped on the break and thought “Oh, dear!” Everything slowed down. I kept hoping he would turn somewhere but no, he stayed, right there, in front of me. As I was forced to slow down, I became aware of all the thoughts and emotions that this simple act had triggered. Here I am, going to meditation, and I’m getting annoyed over a truck. A truck! I took a deep breath and focused on what was right in front of me. A big, heavy, white, clunky…
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Turn on the Light!
On Tuesday evening, I sat to meditate, in honor of the winter solstice. It was my intention to sit still, breathe and be present in that very moment. I prayed for inspiration and guidance for this coming year. What I received was a deep sense of peace and acceptance. I’ll be holding on to this experience and here’s why. I usually drive myself crazy, trying to do it all well and produce the results I think I should. This last year, my focus has been on being mindful and accepting of what is instead of fighting against it. I’ve been focusing on doing what I can and not getting too hung…
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Change Happens!
“Change is as inevitable as rain in the spring. Some of us just put on our raincoats and splash forward.” ~ Amy Bloom Being willing to flow with change isn’t always easy, even when we know that change is fundamental to our growth. Change provides us with opportunities to reflect and evaluate, make adjustments, and open to new possibilities. Whether change happened by choice or not, whether we view it as positive or negative, we’ll have to go through the process of transformation which, at times, can be challenging. Change tests our comfort level with uncertainty. As the old gives way to the new, we enter the “I have no clue…
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Living in Present Time
Abigail Thomas is one of my favorite authors. I read “The Three Dog Life” some time ago, liked her style and what she had to say, and I decided to read all her books. “Thinking About Memoir” is another one of hers and as I was reading through it the other day, I couldn’t help but think of how our personal stories evolve. We go on living our lives, going through the motions, dealing with unexpected events, checking off our to-do lists, and crossing paths with each other. Somehow morning turns into evening and we don’t know where the hours went. Much of life’s richness goes unnoticed. There is a treasure…
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Life Balance! A Myth or a Choice?
Life doesn’t present us with a clear, unobstructed road. On our way, we get potholes, roadblocks, and mudslides. Here and there, our lives spin out of control. We worry about our jobs. Our businesses falter. Our children seem to have grown up overnight and we are not the center of their world anymore. Our parents age and their health fails. We fall out of love. We’re stressed . . . a thousand thoughts racing through our mind . . . no time left for us and us alone. Life is complicated. We can’t possibly divide our lives into neatly separated territories. “Is life balance a myth?” we wonder. “Am I really…
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Workaholic no More: 7 Steps to Transformation
I joined the workforce upon graduating from high school, worked my way through college, and kept going. There are many reasons why I love to work. Not only am I able to support myself – which is extremely important for my self-respect – but I’m also able to channel much of my creativity, knowledge, and passion into a specific direction. Time went on and life gave me plenty of opportunities to adjust my perspective. I found out that, loving work, can also lead to identifying with it so much that it’s easy to lose sight of what really matters in life. Work can become an excuse for not being fully engaged…
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Work is What We Do Not What We Are
Years ago, while at a networking event, I met these two guys who were account executives for MCI, a phone company of the past. We were introduced during the meet-and-greet session and they asked what I was doing. They were curious. Back then being a life coach was still new. They were both married and had young children. They asked many questions and at some point, we got talking about being available to our clients. I told them that I kept a clear boundary between family and work time. After all, my corporate days were fresh in my mind and I wasn’t going to repeat the same mistake. Their response was…
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The Courage to Be Happy
Throughout my life, I’ve had the good fortune to meet people who inspired me and challenged me to grow into who I am today. Asimenia was one of my high school teachers. She taught Greek literature and philosophy. She embodied everything a teacher and mentor should be. She was strong and inspiring and I adored her. During one of the most vulnerable times in my life, she saw something in me I couldn’t see. She took me under her wing, became my mentor, and showed me what strength of spirit looked like. She continued being there for me even after I graduated high school. During one of our times together she…
